I think I’m developing ADD. Mostly because there just seem to be SO MUCH going on. Though a lot of it is in the distant to not-so-distant future a lot of thinking, deciding, and planning needs to occur in the present. There’s much to be done and now I feel the need to blog about it (versus DO it?). The next year[s] will be crazy for us.

• I’m currently going to school. As any regular should know. So I have 12 credits worth of work going on right now.
• I’m graduating from PCC in the spring and have had to line my ducks all up for that recently.
• Next fall I hope to attend Portland State University. Which involves SO many things. At the moment: applying (done), filling out endless scholarship apps (getting there), applying to the BSW program I hope to get into, making sure I take classes that will transfer over well and satisfy as many lower level requirements as possible. A lot of administrative stuff.
• And, further in the future: filling out a FAFSA pretty much on New Year’s Day, MOVING hopefully between winter and spring terms so I can take some on-campus classes my last term at PCC.
• Moving and all that that entails.
• We are getting married in July! And that is quickly approaching. Currently working on "save the date" cards, looking at venues next week when we’re in portland for Thanksgiving, trying to come up with some sort of guest list. Gah.
• The holidays are oh-so-quickly approaching. We blessed to be able to do some of our shopping early this year. Or at least consider it! Last year times were very tough for us.
• I recently started working out again. Which is great, makes me feel good about myself, gives me energy, etc. But that is yet another thing to add to the list of time-taker-uppers. And to feel guilty about when it doesn’t get done.
• Due to a cold/daylight’s savings time Ali shaved nearly and hour and a half off of her normal sleep time. Which means significantly less time available to do: schoolwork, kind of cleaning, exercise, BLOGGING, relaxing, and SLEEP. I think the lack of adequate sleep time (which, for me is 7.5 to 8 hours for sure I don’t do well with less and especially not for a few nights in a row) has been probably the biggest component to my feeling overly stressed and worn out/down.
• Just everyday things like dishes and cleaning have been seeming never-ending and insurmountable.
• Maybe this isn’t so much? I don’t know, but it’s frazzling me. Too many variables and outcomes dependent upon other outcomes. I hope to have some answers in the next couple of months so we will have a clearer direction.

Stress aside, this is a very VERY exciting time. The next year is going to be challenging and I don’t see it get easier after that. I’ll be in school (the Bachelors of Social Work provides the opportunity to get a Master’s in one year versus two) for quite awhile and somewhere in the mix is a sibling for Ali. Which, btw, I cannot believe it’s already something we have to think about! It’s a bit much.

So that’s it. Rather new-sy eh?

• Bedtime is going great. It’s the middle of the night that’s a struggle. I can only do about one wake up where I put her back down because it takes me forever to fall asleep again. The second time I’m right back in bed with her. Only thing is, we put the trundle Ali and I usually sleep on away and bought the rocking chair up (now it feels like an actual nursery!) so it basically seems like I’m bedless.
• Last night Ali went down at 8:30, woke up at 9:30, 11:00, 1:00 (and cried with Tony for about 25 minutes before I went up. At this point he had yet to go to sleep and I had just fallen asleep about 12:45), and then whenever I went up there and stayed. Probably two-something. She woke up this morning before 8am. UGH. Luckily her and I napped this afternoon. Well, evening. Until nearly six!
• I feel like a new parent again except one-year-olds (thirteen months tomorrow!) need much less day-sleep than newborns. Should have tackled this endeavor then…
• Ali has now discovered the toilet. And the joy found in dropping this in it.
• Yesterday we met Oregon Senate candidate Jeff Merkley in Tillamook. He was a very nice guy.

• Monday and Tuesday next week I am subbing at Off Our Rocker across the street.
• Tomorrow we are hoping to have a picnic somewhere for lunch. Hopefully sans wind.
• I know I have more stuff to update from our trip up north last week. But here are pictures.
• We are getting very, very close to having a toddler. There have been a number of shuffle lunges and even a few step, step, lunge. Any day now.
• Tony and I are about to do an exercise video. Good, because I love exercise and am looking forward to getting back to it. Bad, because I don’t think either of us has done much (besides some walking here and there) since we broguht Jordan back his week. Over two weeks ago.

While at my parents Ali learned no-no. Of course she’s been hearing it for quite awhile. And lately she’s been shaking her head, but it was usually when she was happy. And then, she figured it out. In this context:

"Ali do you wanna go see Grandpa?" *fervent head shaking*

Or, if my dad was holding her (which, yes, he was able to do a couple of times) "Wanna go see Grandma?" *again with the head shaking*

It was so hilarious. Now, when she comes across something she knows she’s not supposed to touch she stops and shakes her head. Usually looking for the praise that comes at her acknowledge of it as a "no-no." Usually she moves toward it and then stops for a reminder head shake a couple times before it’s too much and she gives in. But it’s a start.

It’s so amazing to witness her little brain growing in so many way EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Stay tuned for an update on the, now, very present talking.

Oh oh OH!!! I know I never talk about signing very much and that’s because we don’t really work on it a whole lot. But, also while at my parents last week Ali finally started signing "more." Alyssa gets a lot of credit because she was working with her and it somehow seemed to click (hmmm, I’m pretty sure I was the queen of refusing to learn from my parents…maybe it’s genetic?)and then during Trista’s graduation wwe were giving her pretzels and she just started doing it. Since it’s been hit and miss but I think that’s kind of how these things go.

Since we spent two weeks away from home (we returned at the beginning of April) I have spent all but three nights sleeping on the trundle in Ali’s room. With Ali. The first time we reverted back to our old way was the night of Mother’s Day when Ali was really sick. And then the two nights Billie was here a few weeks ago. Two nights in a row Tony slept on the regular (non-trundle) bed with us, but not last night. He was feeling left out so I told him he was welcome anytime.

On one hand, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

On the other…because of the alcove-ness of the trundle with the dresser pulled up next to it the bed is PERFECT for [all]night breastfeeding. The pillows works just right, and the bed is low enough to the floor that I don’t have to worry about Ali falling. If I remember to close the door when I come in (usually between eleven and twelve-thirty) then she can even crawl out in the morning and do whatever while I drift. So, it actually works quite well. And yet, I feel as if this is somehow taking steps backward? I don’t know. Like everything else, there are always pros and cons.

The biting was much, much better today. Thanks for all the advice thus far and do keep it coming! We read in What To Expect the First Year to just say no, calmly and take her off, look her in the face and say it hurts mommy, etc. I usually give her one chance and then take her off on the second time. She nurses without incident a few times today and got "removed" probably three times. Which is easier said than done because then she hangs around me all whiny wanting to be held and if I hold her she digs her face into my chest of lifts up/pulls down my shirt. Ah, the joys of breastfeeding an older baby! Anyway, it’s progress and I am VERY pleased with that.

We really don’t have formula in the budget…

Ali is starting to have a big biting problem. And it’s when she nurses. So that means it’s really MY big biting problem. except for maybe once today the boob has been put away every time because she is biting. And not once. I give her a bunch of tries. She usually starts but just kind of biting down and then I say NO, and/or grab her arm or something and she’ll usually let go. And then it’s suck, suck, bite, suck, sick, bite. Each time getting harder. It’s as the point where she seems to think it’s some kind of game? She smiles and nearly giggles when I kind-of-but-not-really yell. I’ll even smack her on the butt or lightly on the cheek and she doesn’t care. Eventually she’ll CLAMP down and then I YELL and/or hit to get her to just let go. And the boob goes away.

The afternoon when we were leaving the park I went to nurse her (b/c she barely ate any lunch or breakfast) she did the same thing and then got my arm instead. Bit me so hard there are still red, raised areas in the shape of her teeth. SO GLAD it was my arm!!!

I thought before bed she would leave it be, but nope. sucked just enough to get my milk to let down and then I had to get her off. Meanwhile I was squirting all over both of us after nearly a whole day without nursing (I hadn’t pumped since we got back from our two weeks away at the beginning of April! But got about 3oz. after I left her screaming in bed).

I don’t know what to do. In the moment all I want is to get her off. And it makes me so nervous and jumpy even when she’s being good. talk about taking the joy right out of the experience. I may have to track down one of my old nipple shields but who knows if she’d even  take it and I REALLY don’t want to have to deal with those again. It’s so frustrating. I’m even wondering if this is some sort of self-weaning?

Anyone have any advice?

First, the odds and ends.

• Happy Birthday to my mom! And for the birthdays that slipped through my fingers…to my dad on the 6th of this month and my baby sister Alyssa on the 25th of April.  Happy [belated] Birthday to you two as well.
• Another product of our recent indoor time has been a marked increase in baking around here. Which has both an upside and a downside. I’m sure you can imagine.
• Last night was BEAUTIFUL and today became gorgeous around lunchtime.

Today. We were all sleeping in Ali’s room (as has become the norm? more on that to come) when we were awoken by a huge thud or whatever from next door. Ali slept on and I drifted for awhile too. I thought it was late as we’ve been getting up about 8:30-9:00. I opened my eyes eventually and Tony was awake too and we talked for a bit and then he got up. He handed me my phone and I checked my email and then the time. 8:00 exactly. The time in which noisemaking is allowed to START.

I tried to get up to pee but Ali woke up. Baby is finally fever free today! Now if only her crusty nose would dissipate as well.

An hour or so later I called the city hall and said I didn’t know who to talk to but I wanted to make a complaint about the early noise. She took it and said they’d send the POLICE down to talk to them. Later, when we were coming back from getting our mail (about 10:30am) when turned the corner just as the police chief was finishing up talking to Rodney. Can we say awkward?!?

Okay, now back to last night. Last night I met….the OWNER of the atrocity next door. His name is Mike. We were out grilling (well, Tony was and Ali and I were playing with toys in her [empty] kiddie pool in the driveway) and he walked over and introduced himself. Which was very nice and it was a polite conversation but…and I have to say it, SO self-centered! Maybe it comes with the business? He mentioned owning a number of properties, ones he does own or did own or whatever. And I’m sure I sound very self-centered but that’s because this is MY blog. IRL (in real life) I was cordial, if not a little cold, asking questions and making observations etc. Things he included in the conversation:

1. What a nice building it is going to be.
2. What a nice view of the ocean he thinks it will have.
3. How excited he is.
4. How QUIET it is here.
5. How many hoops the city put him through to build the thing.
6. That he showed my parents the plans for this place years ago.

Things that were NOT included:

1. ANY acknowledgment  of the effect his duplex may have of us (not even after I said it was noisy or that the builders were "definitely hard workers.")
2. ANY apology (I know, covered by #1 but still)
3. ANY gratitude(see above)
4. The fact that in the sixteen years he’s owned this precious land he oftentimes didn’t bother to care for it…also to the detriment of neighbors and the city as a whole.

Are we seeing a theme here? We did glean some info as to the structure itself: it’s stopping at two stories (the bottom one large enough for a garage that will house his boat and vaulted ceilings on the top), the roof will be flat and not have access; and about it’s usage: he will be keeping the unit closest to our house (though not full time I don’t think?) and renting the north one out to weekenders and such. I’m glad both won’t be rented.

Also today we decided to go have a picnic lunch at a park in Garibaldi.

And Ali tonight after scarfing a strawberry popsicle…

I have not been blogging. As you may have noticed. For a variety of reasons.

• I am currently spending way to much time READING a blog. I’m consumed.
• Ali is sick again. On the mend I think but that runny nose was struggling her real bad for awhile. She even had her first throw up a couple nights ago. Though it could have been a glorified spit up? I think it was because I had her sleeping kind of upright to drain some of the nasties and she coughed and coughed and then barfed warm stuff all over me. Whatever…I was glad to was at least out of her little airway!
• I also think she’s teething again. Or still maybe. She been biting me a lot. And the coffee table.
• I cannot handle the still wintery weather now that it is almost JUNE. It is NOT FAIR that we have had, like, no spring. NW winters are dark, dreary, and tolling enough. Lasting almost two months- or more!- longer than they should is driving me batty.
• I get headaches everyday. I blame the CONSTANT INCESSANT MIND NUMBING banging and sawing and whatever the f&^$ else next door.
• Also I have been kind of sick since mother’s day. But off and on. And kind of, which is the worst b/c it’s always there but never a high enough priority to receive enough attention to be remedied. And I keep forgetting to buy 7-up for my upset stomach.
• I got my hair trimmed on Monday. It needed it so, so, bad and I think I finally found someone I would gladly return to. That hasn’t happened in years and years and it always makes needing a haircut stressful and a big event if you don’t know where to go.
• Ali is getting too big. I’ve basically began referring to her as a one-year-old in my head so I can get used to the idea that she’s not a baby anymore.
• We’ve been working on standing but now she refuses and makes her legs go limp. So stubborn! But I’m okay with that, Her timing is alright, plus I’m just NOT READY for a walker.
• Some pics that never got posted:

• Ok, I’m off to make the most of the grey and dreary day. Or at least the naptime that Ali has blessed me with!

Ali has a semi-bad runny nose. Thankfully it is runny vs. stuffy. Except when she sleeps I think? Last night and, thus far, tonight there has been a lot of waking up. This is really our first experience with the snot issue. Thankfully it’s the thin clear stuff. But it’s ever-present and, most likely, a sign of something worse to come. Greeeeat.

Girl sure gets a kick out of licking the snot off her lip though. So much so that she was doing so today when she crawled into/feel onto the bottom step (I don’t know, Tony was the one watching – let him explain) and bit her tongue. So bad that she had a whole mouth full of blood for awhile. Kind of scary. Kind of funny? Is that awful?!?! Like, after the fact funny.

Last night Tony went to a movie in Tmooker after Ali went to bed and I spent over an hour on this post I’ve been mulling on for weeks. It got erased. I cried. I hate stuff like that. So now I am holding a grudge against the blog. You’re lucky you have this to read at all.

Eventually I realized it must have been meant to be and resigned to keeping the info to myself. At least for now…

Well, we have indeed booked a trip back to Iowa for July. We’re arriving early on June 30th and departing early on July 5. Our schedule when we’re back is predictably filling up fast, but it sounds like we’ll be able to make it to my Great Uhcle Dan’s memorial service later in the week. It should be a good opportunity to not only celebrate the man, but also for Ali to meet her huge extended family on my mom’s side.

So, tips for traveling with a 1 year old, on the red-eye, no less? I stayed up waaaaay too late last night reading everything I could online, and it sounds like pretty much all common sense measures apply. If you have any particular tips or tricks, however, leave a comment and spread the wealth. We’re traveling on Northwest (my airline of choice) if that matters.

And on another note, man its expensive to travel these days. We do so much complaining about the cost of gas and it seems like the most expensive option until you get online and start pricing plane tickets!

I walk in the door. Say, "I’m Ashley Lewis." The receptionist asks how old I am. "Twenty-three." Then says…

"Oh, you look so young. I was going to ask for you mom."

The fact that I a) appreciated that comment and b) said thank you makes me feel old. But at least I apparently don’t look a day over eighteen?