Christmas 1986: I am two years and two and a half months. My dad is twenty-five.

I’m not sure when this is, but I know I was washing the car so probably summertime…of ‘87?

I woke up really early this morning for no apparent reason…like 6:45. Ali was up and busting around though, which she usually isn’t in the morning so maybe that was it. I took out the garbage, something Tony usually does but forgot to last night (when he came to bed at 2:30). I can’t open the garage door so I’m sure I was quite the site lugging the garbage can out the front door at 7:15 in Tony’s sweatpants and t-shirt. It was nice to be up and somewhat "about" for that early time of the day. I’ve forgotten how much I enjoy and, to a degree, thrive off that quiet peacefulness. It reminds me of getting up at five for Subway the last year and a half. Getting there by six, and having to use the bus system to do so, was often a trial (especially through a Seattle winter) but I know I’m a stronger person because of it. There’s also a very specific sense of calm that comes at 10am knowing you’ve already logged four hours of hard days work. And that you will get off before the dreaded darkness sets in!

So now it’s almost noon and I resent the world joining me with all their noise and bustle. I am, however, happy that it’s Friday, that Tony is finishing Ironmaster today and that he can de-stress for a couple days. I’m also hoping the clouds burn off soon so maybe I can clean my car. I spilled a smoothie I made with ice, yogurt, chocolate Carnation breakfast mix and a banana in there….um, a week and a half ago? I wiped it up with a towel but was late to class and it’s been grossing me out ever since. It’s stuff like that, when I’m not exactly sure HOW to clean it, WHAT to do that a) I tend to ignore the problem and b) feel very inadequate and childish. When did I become a grown-up? Eighteen? Twenty-one? When I left for college? When I began supporting myself? When I got my own apartment? When that stick read positive?